There’s actually nothing weird about Dr Pepper except maybe how weirdly delicious it is and how weird it is that it’s not sold and adored the world over.

But this is Texas, home of Dr Pepper, so not only do I love it, but I also have a long family history with it. Apparently, when my daddy was a little boy, my grandfather always drank Dr Pepper and kept it in their fridge at all times. When my dad was about 8, he tried a Coke and said he was furious with his family for keeping the experience
of trying other sodas away from him for so long (he had a similar experience upon eating his first hot fudge sundae, but that’s a different story. My father is a fairly hilarious man.).

Anyway, so it’s not weird that I love Dr Pepper, since it’s a family thing and since I went to college at the best school in the world where Dr Pepper flows like milk and honey and where there’s a special hour every week where people gather to drink Dr Pepper mixed with Blue Bell homemade vanilla ice cream – totes jelly yet?

The weird thing for us is the Tate Family Rule of Dr Pepper consumption. Since Dr Pepper is the “official soft drink of Baylor University,” it’s only natural that we drink it on gameday, right? But, there are very specific Dr Pepper drinking guidelines.

Rule 1: Dr Pepper may only be consumed after a game that includes a victory.
Rule 2: The victories are relative. For example, every football victory merits a drink, but not every basketball game does.
Rule 3: On any other regular day, Dr Pepper may not be consumed.
Rule 4: No other sodas may be consumed, lest they bring about a jinx. After all, we don’t want that on our hands.

I do have one little secret though – one time when I cheat against this very complex and complicated soda-consumption system. Because of all the glorious days and giddy victories connected to this soda consumption, I have Pavlovianly-trained my brain. If I have a headache, I allow myself one Dr Pepper and within three sips, it’s magically gone. Way cheaper and easier and delicious-er than any other remedy I’ve ever heard of.