You know how some families have different special holiday traditions, like the Elf on a Shelf or leaving our cookies for a big, jolly guy or maybe finding eggs and receiving baskets filled with treats?
Well, in our family, we didn’t do those things, so we came up with a new tradition: re-reading the following letter written by my little sister at around 6 or 7. It supersedes all those things and just might be the best, most hilariously disturbing holiday “essay” of all time. Because it’s amazing.
But wait – it gets better.
Please consider your day made, and try to have a Merry Christmas, even though you’ve just seen Santa and his friends crushed under an anvil (I asked. I thought it was a giant shoe or a horse’s hoof, but no. It’s an anvil).
To Drink and Write 
Hahahahaha I love it! Kids are the best!
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Aaaahhhhh hahahahaha this wins the internet. I love it. I love the jaded tone of it all.
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this is everything. and more. i should stop learning about things…sounds bad.
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I thought it was a giant sucker hose to erase them from the universe?
Maebe not.
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