So.

In yet another incidence of life imitating art (by which I mean, me comparing my life to a nerdy book), I know that it is undoubtedly summer.

Why? Well, let’s start with the literary part. Do you remember the story of how spiders were invented? You know Arachne was a weaver, blah blah, she said she was better than Athena, blah blah, Athena got all offended and ragey as those crazy Greeks are prone to do, blah blah, and she turned Arachne into a spider. She was all, “Oh, so you think you can weave? How about I make you have string coming out of your stomach for the rest of your life? How about you weave your own house? How about you catch your own food – which will be disgusting flies, by the way – by, you guessed it, weaving?” Athena pretty much took it as far as you can go. By the way, shout out to Percy Jackson for reminding me of this story (that’s the nerd part).

Well, then, how does this apply to my life, you may well be asking? I haven’t turned a single enemy into an insect or arachnid, even though I have plenty of them. Enemies, that is, although I really prefer and frequently use the term Nemesis, which, if Rick Riordan’s writing serves me correctly, is another Greek. Whoa, this is so mythological of me.

Sorry, tangent.

Anyway, so after Arachne became a spider, she and her creepy children hated Athena. And in Percy Jackson, spiders are always following and tormenting Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena. Well, that’s me, except I must be a descendant of whichever myth out there created or mortally offended the mosquito. Seriously. My family can attest to this; mosquitoes love me. They flock, fly, swarm around me. Yesterday was the tipping point where I discovered that mosquitoes are here for the rest of the year, and with a vengeance. I was outside in the balmy San Antonio heat for literally and actually LESS THAN TWO MINUTES and I was immediately assuaged by these nightmare bloodsucking mini-monsters. I have bites all around my ankles from that short 100 seconds in the outdoor world – why they chose to focus on one specific area, I have no clue. But it is not fun and I can look forward to that bug-grudge-match for the remainder of the summer. Pretty much my legs will go from “death-laser-pale-white” to “is-that-leprosy-oh-no-just-mosquitoes” in a matter of days.

So, if possible, I’d like to proclaim a truce with the insect world. And, more importantly, I need to research my mythological heritage so I can figure out what amazing powers I’ve been neglecting so far in life. Maybe I should be able to turn invisible or make flames in my hands or pull precious jewels from the ground with my mind (that would be a pretty good one, except for them being cursed and all that. Oh yeah, spoiler. Sorry.) Any ideas?

Advertisements