I know that getting carded is, apparently, one of the great ironies of life. You get carded when you’re young and don’t want to be. Old ladies simple and giggle when young waiters card them (aka flatter them with lies to get a bigger tip).

But seriously, wouldn’t you think the grocery store checker could maybe – you know – not check ID for a person who is eight months pregnant? It’s pretty obvious, I hope, at this point that I’m not buying a six-pack of beer for myself. Apparently not at HEB though…. And apparently the HEB checkers would be fine with me downing a few bottles of ale and giving my fetus fins and gills, just as long as I make sure I’m over 21 while doing it. Sheesh.