Danger Week

This week has been calamitous.

Seriously, every morning has brought a new disaster.

Sunday, I  must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. Actually, it was the right side (in a literal sense), as it’s the side I always get up on. However, it was wrong, wrong, wrong in the eyes of the Greater Forces of the Universe.

We recently got new bedding. It looks amazing.

Our bedroom with glorious new blue and white bedding
CRIBS: blue-and-white bedroom edition
However, with this amazingness, of course there is a price. In this case, the price is that this quilt is a combination Venus flytrap/quicksand quagmire. On Sunday morning, I was trying to maneuver around Baby’s Pack-and-Play and go brush my teeth. However, the Quilt of Doom had other plans. It sucked my foot into its jaws of death and would not release it, even as the rest of my body went spiraling away with the force of a Quincy Acy shot rejection. Andddd I landed directly on my knee. Absolute and literal insult to injury when you add that to last week’s Exercise Ball Debacle.

So, that wasn’t fun….also, on that note, I have almost zero functional body parts right now with:

  • Head and back exercise ball contusions
  • Post-pregnancy hormone chest and shoulder rash
  • Mom’s wrist from picking up my adorable child too often
  • Knee wound
  • Other leg wound (from same bed falling-off incident)
  • Vicious foot attack by Clancy Cupcake (yes, EVERY. SINGLE. TOY. in our house has a name)

So, that was how this week started. Let’s progress to Monday morning, which, as you’d expect, was full to the brim with Monday-ness. It’s always thrilling to get a knock on the door at 7 a.m. It’s even more thrilling with its your pregnant neighbor letting you know that she backed into your car. Funny thing – Will was awesome and filled my car up with gas this weekend, so I wouldn’t have to do it, and then I couldn’t even drive it; yet another case of yin-and-yang-life.

And then, here come Tuesday…ohhhh Tuesday (credit: Fats Domino). I get ready to leave the house, weary and heavy-laden with all my go-to-work supplies, including my typical breakfast banana. You may have heard that banana peels are slippery. However, in this case, apparently the entire banana was a slippy little rattigan.  It sneaked out of my bag and slithered in to my driver’s seat, at which time I promptly sat on it, not unlike the waffle-pants incident, which is starting to tell me I need to stop eating breakfast in the car.

Neither my pants nor my mood were greatly improved by this happening, as you might guess. Ergo, I am generally disillusioned by the banana species… except for these two, which I will post in order an effort to restore our collective faith in the innate goodness of banana-kind (both photo cred Halla, of course).

Elvis banana
Thank you, thank you very much.

Banana weenie dog
Inexplicable Banana-Graham pic
Okay, despite that nice aww-inducing photo interlude, this week’s mornings could have been better…. and I’m currently a little terrified of what Wednesday, Thursday and Friday may bring. Eeek!


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